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reporter Nico “straight-with-a-wife-and-child” Hines published a dispatch from the Rio Olympic Games, the purpose of which, according to editor John Avlon, was “to see how dating and hook-up apps were being used in Rio by athletes.” Never mind that the obvious answer to this query is … He then collected these digital encounters into a saucy, mostly man-for-man-focused story wherein we learn that, indeed, Rio competitors are interested in dating or hooking up via apps.(The original headline was “I Got Three Grindr Dates in an Hour in the Olympic Village.”) Yeah, it’s super lame.

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Maybe, but we’re not going to share our guesses here because, again, violence.

And also, before you ask, being a so-called “public figure” for two weeks out of every four years does not mean the details of your sex life are a matter of public concern. One of the victims was identified in the original article as being from Kazakhstan, which is considered by LGBTQ advocacy groups to be hostile territory.

The show's format involves one eligible single (Male or Female) and three possible suitors, all four of which have been made over with Prosthetic makeup, each "beast" will then go on a date with the singleton.

Over the course of the show, two will be eliminated, at which point their make up is removed and their real identity is revealed for the first time.

That there are many condoms in Rio de Janeiro is a (light) story. If he’s outed there, he could be punished, whether in terms of work prospects, social exile, or by physical attack.